


One with the world.

by Peekaboorenerene



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Character Death, Depressing, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Needs a Hug, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, Sad Ending, Sad Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Smoking, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peekaboorenerene/pseuds/Peekaboorenerene
Summary: Where Donghyuck just doesn't know anymore. And honestly, the wizard he is today isn't enough.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	One with the world.

A drag of smoke. The gray filled the lungs of the boy, reaching deep inside. It soothed him. It soothed him in a way nothing else did. One cigarette after the other.

"Donghyuck?" A male asked.

Donghyuck himself didn't answer though. He was looking outside the window. The beautiful and busy castle. The smoke that slipped through his lips fogged up the glass a little as Donghyuck turned around, looking at the man.

"Why are you here?" A simple question. Oh so simple. But Donghyuck never knew the answer. Even to the simplest questions. Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders. The boy pulled the gray sleeves of the loose sweater he was wearing over his hand, wiping away the fog on the glass. The view was clear again. He smiled a small smile, letting a tear loose, running down his red cheeks.

"Do you know why we're alive?" Donghyuck asked after a while.

The male sat on his knees, holding Donghyuck close to him. The boy was shaking against his chest. "We live to love. We live for others and for us Donghyuck. You know that right?" The boy pressed a kiss against Donghyuck's forehead.

"What if there was no one left to love?" Donghyuck mumbled, he pressed the cigarette against the seat he was sitting on, dropping it on the floor. His knees were against his chest as he looked outside once again.

"You love me right? We love each other. We're friends aren't we?" The male asked.

"Are we?" Donghyuck stood up, his legs were weak, shaking with every step he took.

"Donghyuck please." The male begged. But Donghyuck was already out the door. His jacket still laid beside the chair, as well as his wand and packet of cigarettes.

And just like that, Donghyuck sat by the lake. It was the middle of winter. Donghyuck's tears slowly dropped onto the frozen grass. He should've taken his cigarettes, he thought. Or maybe he could've taken his jacket. He didn't though. I mean why would he. He'd rather freeze to death. With a view like this he wouldn't mind.

When this was all over. That's what they used to say. When this was all over they'd stay together, stay as a group, grow old together. But even now, when it was the worst it has ever been, they've grown apart. His friends found new people to be around, to love. And his life at home wasn't even an option he should have thought about. He'd probably end up like his father. A nobody. A pure blooded ministry employee. That was what scared him the most. 

When he was growing up, he used to dream about becoming Newt Scamander. He used to read stories about him. They were banned in his house. His father ordered the books to be burned at sight. But whenever he ventured into diagon alley, he'd read all the books on the shelves. He'd read everything there was to know about Newt Scamander. The wonders of his adventures, the animals, the way they cared and lived for each other's existence. He loved it. He had hoped to grow up like him. To venture into the wild and unknown world and explore all there was to know. He'd dream about traveling to different countries, alone. He'd dream about the animals and the wonders this world had to offer. How he'd love for his dreams to come true. 

He wanted to live in a world he had made up in his head. A world where the life he lived was worth it. Where everyone was together again. The world where he could live his life to his heart's content. He wished for a world he knew he'd never see. A world he knew would never exist. The only world that was here was the one right in front of him. But this was a world filled with worries, with emotions no one wanted. In some way, Donghyuck adored this world, he craved for this awful world. Because somewhere in the back of his mind, he loved it. He craved for all this suffering. It was something so familiar, something to let him know he was still alive, even though he never wanted to be. The world that was made up in his head was twisted too. Just like the one he was living in. There was no perfect world, although Donghyuck wished there was.

It was all so messed up. He never understood what people saw in life. You live to work and hold up a society that's so corrupt there's no right or wrong anymore. There's just what is. Donghyuck let the sentence he was told earlier go through his head. You live to love. But if that was so, why do people break hearts? What's the point of love if it bleeds you dry until you're just a walking corpse. Donghyuck thought about it. He worked day in and day out for a world he never even wanted to be a part of. He never asked to be born into a world like this. The world is so fucked up in every way. 

Donghyuck smiled a little as he let go of his knees that were against his chest in a pathetic attempt to keep warm. He laid his back on the frozen grass, feeling the small and frozen green plants crush underneath his body. Everything lives and ends. Whether it's quick or whether it takes a while, we all die. So what's the problem with wanting to die just a little sooner. Donghyuck laid his head on the grass, closing his eyes. His hands were red, and so were his cheeks. He could barely move as it was, but the cold consumed him. He was alone, and it would end alone. His lips were turning blue as the snow fell, the white snow fell on top of his body, it didn't melt. He would become one with the rest of the world. The grass here would flourish as he sunk deeper into the earth, the flowers would grow and spread on top of his body, he'd become a beautiful part of nature. The animals he used to dream of when he was younger would play on the field he laid in to rest. And just like that, Donghyuck fell asleep for eternity.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few months ago and posted it on twitter. By now I have hopefully corrected any spelling mistakes! Also this is very sad and I couldn't really find the right tags for it? It's just sad and :( but I wrote this and it was very peaceful to write. Which was nice. I hope this is okay! It isn't my best work but it's one of my favourites for sure! I was obsessed with it at the time. Thank you for reading it! Please tell me what you think! Anything is welcome :D


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